RAPE! When do we stop blaming the victims of sexual abuse?

I remember vividly the first time I heard stories about rape.

I was in Junior Secondary school at the time, I was barely a teenager in a group of fellow young girls who had all barely hit puberty.

We were a group of 5 girls who were best friends and would sit at the back of the class during the break period to discuss about what we thought we knew about life.

We would talk about boys, our little life experiences and puberty. I still remember the first day one of us saw her period.

She came to me with an embarrassed look on her face and told me she just saw blood on her panties in the restroom and she didn’t know what to do. Luckily for me my mum had fully equipped me with what to expect (being an early bloomer) if this where to happen to me..so I had a sanitary pad in my bag and I gave it to her. She went to the bathroom and used it and came back smiling.

So this particular day we were talking about random stuff, when one of us burst into tears. We were immediately trying to find out why and she told us she was molested last weekend by a male uncle in her neighborhood, she then went on to narrate what happened with her fingers trembling, while we stared in disbelief.

I was in shock, like why would anyone do this to her, she was the smallest girl in our group, she looked really fragile and hadn’t even reached puberty, unlike a few of us who already had our breast just beginning to develop…she didn’t. She was the smallest out of us. I was angry.

She told us how he had sent her on an errand to buy him toothpaste and when she had brought it to him, he locked the door, started undressing her and slapped her when she screamed. He then went ahead to have his way with her while she struggled. And after he was done he threatened her not to tell her mum about it or he would deal with her. I still remember tears rolling down her chick while she was narrating how he she could barely walk back when he asked her to leave.

I inquired if she had gone ahead and told her mother and she said no, she didn’t want to. Not because of the threat but she didn’t want to disappoint her mother. She said this like what happened to her was her fault.

I grew up to have my own share of experiences, and just like her I didn’t tell my mum. In fact I didn’t tell anyone. It takes being in someone else’s shoes to know where it pinches.

I didn’t want to be blamed or shamed.

And this is the major reason victims of rape most times refuse to speak up about it. And this is the power most abusers have over their victims….they are confident they wouldn’t be outed. And it’s high time we break this cycle.

This is not peculiar to girls alone, I have heard stories of boys being sexually abused too and it’s really sad.

We need to take the power from the abusers and the best way to do that is stop shaming the victims so they can speak up immediately it happens and not wait for a long time before coming forward…because by then, more ppl would be affected. Enough is enough. Let’s put an end to this.

End the shame.

It not their fault.

Let’s collectively stop the rape culture.

It could be your your brother or your sister. Don’t wait to find out..Stop Rape!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *